The Great Cookie Theft
by A BlackHole
Summary: The royal cookies of Pherae have been stolen! No one knows how to find the culprit, but ace detective and tactician Mark is on the case! With his crack team of assistants, can he hunt down the criminal and reveal the true plot behind the theft?
1. Chapter 1: Adventure Start!

Alright, I'm just give a quick add on to what this story's going to be about.

Basically it's this: Eliwood's royal cookies have been "stolen", and Mark recruit's a crack team to help him track down the criminal. In which he will go about interviewing everyone in the army as a suspect, each time with different comical results. Now this may seem like a random non-pathological story, and that the cookies were indeed taken just by mistake, but it actually does have a plot. While Mark is fooling around, Matthew, Nino, Nils, and Ninian will place the REAL clues together.

...Although some lives will be comically ruined in the due processes.

So enjoy, and see if YOU can solve the mystery too!

**(------)**

**Fire Emblem 7: Rekka No Ken**

The Great Cookie Theft, by A BlackHole

_Chapter 1: Start Adventure!_

**(------)**_  
_

_Journal: Day 1  
Writer: Mark (genius tactician, and legal detective)  
Time: Morning?  
Event: Royal Cookie Theft  
Target Suspects: Plenty Left_

_It was on a bright sunny day, the kind of day that no one suspects anything could go amiss, that something just had to go wrong. Wrong in the ways only the darkest fiend of the most dank, smelly, cloudiest regions of the pits of the earth could ever imagine up such a scheme. Such a horrendous place, that even now I dare not describe it further. Sorta' like Nergal's guest bathroom on Dread Isle. _

_He didn't have toilet paper in the toilet paper dispensers! The nerve! _

_For today, the privacy of our beloved Lord Eliwood was shattered when his discovered at approximately eight a.m. (or was it twelve?) that someone had stolen his cookies._

_Not just any old normal cookies mind you, but the royal cookies of Pherae. _

_I'm not exactly sure really what even makes them "royal cookies", but I suspect it's an intricate process in which the ingredients of these mystical majestic bakery treats are made. You know…something like the flour is harvested from the royal wheat fields._

_And then sent on to be mixed with milk and butter obviously made from a royal cow._

_And THEN possibly to be added into a bowl or royalty, made from rare metals formed together by the greatest blacksmiths. _

_And ALSO THEN added to royal sugar obviously grown in the wealthiest plantation fields of Bern._

_And ALSO THEN POSSIBLY to be baked in an oven blessed by the Gods above._

_AND! ALSO THEN POSSIBLE TO have heaven-blessed chocolate chips added into the already holy mixture._

_Hmmm… Would and oven blessed by the God's make divine cookies? _

_Or does the cookie dough itself have to be blessed by the heavens? I wonder what a divine cookie tastes like…would it be the same thing if a cookie batch were hit with a Divine spell from a Light Tomb? _

_Gah! I'm getting side tracked again…_

_You know, I almost felt bad for the red headed goodie-goodie when he broke the news to us. He was in such a wrecked shape…sigh…you just had to feel bad for him._

**(-----)**

Slowly but surely on the day of all days, it started off in the norm for the three Lords of Lycia and their "beloved" tactician. The smaller dining table in one of the many Salons in castle Pherae had unwittingly become a battleground of culture: with each Lordling naturally choosing to side with what they were accustom to in their own ruling territory. If there had ever been a whitty line of battle drawn over breakfast, it was to be here, in all of Elibe, that it was about to happen.

"Mark, for the LAST TIME, I'm NOT going to ask Florina if her Pegasus can do that!" Lyn shouted in disgust.

"But it's an honest question! I want to know!" Mark pleaded, throwing a perfectly delicious honey bun aside in place for another one of exactly equal quality in the center of the table.

"Actually, now he's got my curiosity up…" Hector mumbled off hand.

"Hey, has anyone seen my royal cookies?" the prince of Pherea asked, walking in from the royal bakery, looking underneath the Salon's table as well.

"Didn't they bake you a batch yesterday?" Hector asked, fingering his own Ostian muffin. Yes, Muffins. The superior breed of bakery product compared to a mere cookie.

"I know," Eliwood scratched his head, before taking his seat as well. "But they're gone from the kitchen for some rea-"

"This smells like a thief!" Mark yelled out of no where, quickly placing the newly selected honey bun down aside substituting it in exchange for the one he had just discarded. "The dirty work of some infamous and dirty underworld criminal!"

"Um… Mark?" Hector stared at the Tactician. "They're just cookies. Inferior as they are, I don't-"

But before Hector could finish, Mark jumped up onto the table with a heavy thump. "This crime will not go unpunished!" Mark declared, thrusting his arm into the air nearly knocking them into the candle holding chandelier above. "It is a slap against the honor of Castle Pherae! We must find this criminal, no matter where he or she is hiding!

"Mark, Hector's right." Eliwood sighed, knowing what could possibly happen if Mark wasn't stopped here and now. "I bet someone just got a case of the munchies and accidentally took them by mistake."

"He's right Mark," Lyn spoke up, putting her own Sacean biscuit down. Although secretly, she disliked Lycian pastries of any sort in comparison to the wild wheat treats of the Plains. And the less Pheraen cookies in Lycia wouldn't be such a bad thing. "This is probably just some-"

"Luckily…" Mark said, cutting Lyn and shifting his weight on the table effectively knocking off several shatter-able plates into a battle with gravity against the stone floor of the castle. "I know JUST the man for this case! He can solve ANYTHING! And I DO mean ANYTHING!"

Lyn, thinking for a moment, looked from Mark back to Hector and Eliwood.

"…Did you two recruit some new guy again without telling me?"

"I think he meant himself." Hector pointed out seizing the moment to finish off his Ostian muffin.

"…Oh."

Lyn looked back up to Mark who was still standing on top of the table; now babbling on about needing an assistant and his detectives hat, before looking back down to Hector and Eliwood both of whom had equal expressions on their faces.

"Oh… That's so sad."

"So…do we stop him?"

"It won't work, he's in his own little world now."

**(-----)**

_So WHAT if they're enthusiasm wasn't of the highest degree for me! I KNOW I can solve this case, and catch that dirty underhanded crook right where he or she is standing! This will be nothing for my ingenious suspect mind, and my loyal assistant Matthew the spy/thief. Together, we will be unstoppable! _

_The mighty duo! _

_An unbeatable pair when put together! _

_A mighty force to be reckoned with! _

_Like the feel of a pair of freshly laundered socks! _

_Although, I'm not really so sure why Matthew volunteered to help me. He claims that Hector forced him to follow me to make sure I wouldn't cause too much damage. Hah, hah, silly Hector. Everyone knows that I'm probably one of the most careful people in the entire army!_

_Especially now that Eliwood's servants managed to bubble-wrap all of the breakable things in his castle._

_With that in mind, I set off to ask around to see if we could pick up any clues. _

_It started slow of course (mainly because everyone seemed to be avoiding me) but my resolve never wavered! Not even the slightest!_

_My first target for questioning was a challenge._

_Her mind was sharp, like the finest sword. Focused, like the greatest martial artists.  
_

_...Nino._

_It was a testament to my all of my trained skills that I was even able to communicate with her._

_Nino..._

_Yes. With this small green-haired force on my side, not even the armies of Nergal, Bern, or the heavens can do a thing to stop my investigation.  
_

**(-----)**

Nino is sitting on a tree stump, playing with a flower when Mark and Matthew walk up. Mark is in a detectives costume, while Matthew has a monocle in one eye and a note pad with him.

"Nino, we need to talk." Mark said, kneeling down next to the tiny Sage.

"Sure!" Nino chirped in her normal, overwhelmingly cheery manor. "What is it?"

"We want to question you…on some…royal cookies." Mark gave a suspicious glance her way, "you wouldn't happen to know anything about them…WOULD YOU!?"

"Nope." Nino shrugged. "Hey wait… What makes cookies royal anyway?"

"Dunno. But they're royal, so I bet they're better." Mark shrugged too.

"Of course! They have to be!" Nino agreed. "What do you think, Matthew?" she asked, looking over Mark's shoulder at the thief who happened to be not paying attention because he was busy eating something.

"Huh?" Matthew quickly swallowed, before adjusting his monocle. "Oh, I…uh…well, they probably taste like normal cookies. I bet."

"I don't know…but they're ROYAL cookies." Nino said, clearly thinking. "I bet… Ooooh!" her attention changed immediately to the detectives hat on Mark's head, that went along with the rest of his costume. "That's sooooo cool!" she quickly grabbed Mark's it off of his head, putting it on her own. "Hey, are you two playing detective? I like detectives! Can I help you two play detective too? It really sounds fun!"

"Noooo! Not my hat!" Mark cried out in anguish, "I can't be a good detective without it!"

"How does this hat make you a detective?" Nino asked, adjusting it fit her own head.

"Because, without it, I can't ever be right."

"…Since when are you ever right anyway?" Matthew snickered.

"SILENCE!" Mark bellowed, "You know I'm ALWAYS right! Except of course, when I am wrong!"

"How true." the thief rolled his eyes.

"He has a good point." Nino smiled, before patting Mark on his hat-less head.

"Thank you, I know." Mark smiled too, quite proud of himself.

"Why must all of the good points in this story be bad ones?" Matthew asked to no-one in particular.

"Matthew!" Mark reprimanded, "Stop talking to yourself and take notes! Nino shall be your new assistant as of this point forward. We WILL find the criminal behind all of this chaos!"

"Chaos?" Matthew rolled his eyes again, crossing his arms sternly. "Look, Mark. Everyone KNOWS that our antics in capturing our so-called criminal, will probably result in more mental trauma and chaos regarding property damage then ANYTHING someone who happened to be a little puckish for a simple snack could do."

Mark scratched his chin in thought.

"I see…and your point is?"

Matthew sighed.

"Let's just get this over with."

"That's the spirit!" Mark stood up, smiling broadly. "Cheer up old' bean! We'll have this case solved by tonight, and our dirty culprit will be under the trustworthy rusted iron bars of damp, dark, cruel medieval dungeon in no time! Now then…" he quickly snatched Matthew's note pad and pen, and handed it to Nino.

"Now Nino, you'll take notes." Mark instructed. "When we interview someone, you write down everything that happened. And I mean EVERYTHING."

"I can do it!" Nino said, "you can count on me!"

"Righty o' then!" Mark said, before marching off in a randomly chosen direction. "To the next suspect!"

"To the next suspect!" Nino repeated, following in-step as well.

"Whatever." muttered Matthew, munching on something unseen before following the two as well.

**(-----)**

_Now that I had managed to subdue possibly the most infamous ally we possessed in our mighty army of many mighty alliances and mighty back-hand deals of mightiest might, I felt more then ever now prepared to take on a much more stronger foe. Yes, if anyone found Nino terrifying, then the raw power Nils possessed would surely make you soil your pants. _

_And no, not this time anyway, did not I soil my pants at the sight of him._

_Nils… Is a complicated young man…dragon…person…kid…THING to describe._

_Surely, even Karel and Jaffar are jealous of this growing boy's powers. At such a young age as well!_

_Everyone just thinks he's a Bard. _

_Yes, an innocent unit that can' t attack, but simply plays his excellent invigorating music to allow our members to attack with more energy then before. _

_I will not lie, my respect for such an ability is great. Along with how he managed to defend his sister from the Black Fang for so long as well. 'Cause trust me, the Black Fang don't play around, not when they're slinging so many sharp objects your way all at once like it ain't nobody's business._

_Although a few things still confuse me about their ranks._

_Mainly the whole thing about sending progressively stronger foes to face us. _

_Almost like they were training us to beat them one wave of foes at a time. Heh, free target practice I guess. It's almost a shame really, such a group with immense potential for wanton destruction and chaos, reduced to simple foes for a group of misfits and random fighters to get practice on before facing their real foes and saving the world. _

_And to think what a great group of organized roving murderers they could have been._

_Oh well, another great organization loses it's potential to the infamous "Stormtrooper" effect in a SRPG._

…_Dammit! I got off topic again! Bah, I suppose that's another of Nils' amazing powers. Being able to manipulate such a meaty mighty mind like mine with just a thought of his name!_

_Sigh…I wish I had intimidating powers like that. _

**(-----)**

Mark, Matthew, and Nino in tow walk up to Nils who also happens to be with Ninian.

"Excuse me, Nils?" Mark asked, "we have some questions for you…IF THAT'S EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!"

"…It is." Nils replied confused, not picking up any of the false drama in Mark's question.

"Right then." Mark smiled, as Matthew and Nino both fell over anime' style. "We just have a few questions for you."

"Q-Questions?" Nils glanced nervously at Ninian. "What…what's wrong?"

"There's been a report of some cookie thefts in the local area…" Mark put his hands to his hips, looking down at the dragon boy with a suspicious look. "You wouldn't happen to have any knowledge of this…would you?"

"Cookie thefts?" Nils gave Mark an odd look, before glancing over to Matthew and Nino both of whom where shaking their heads. "Is that's what this is all about?"

"Answer the question!" Mark demanded. "Or we'll subjugate you to rats and honey torture!"

"…What?" Nils gave Mark and even odder stare then before.

"You heard me." Mark smiled grimly. "Rats and honey torture."

Nino and Matthew looked at each other, both having no clue as to what kind of torture Mark was referring to. Nils looked to Ninian in question as well, but Ninian simply shook her head. "What the heck is rats and honey torture?" the kid-dragon finally asked.

"I can't tell you."

"…Why not?"

"Because it would give our readers ideas." Mark said, nodding in an all-knowing manor. "Cause, well, you know, because how horrible it is."

"Like it hasn't already?" Nils said skeptically.

"That's besides the point!" Mark quickly pulled out a photograph from his pocket, before flashing it in front of Nils quickly so only he could see it. "Now tell me what you know! Or you wouldn't want THIS going public!"

Nils let out an immediate gasp. "You wouldn't dare!"

"I would!" Mark said back, all the more determined.

"Well then…" Nils fished around quickly in his own little pouch, pulling out a photograph too. "I guess I'll have to show…THIS as well! Hah!"

"What!?" Mark stumbled backwards in shock. "How did you get THAT!"

"That's my secret." Nils smirked, knowing they were even. "And besides…I don't know anything about any royal cookies. I've been practice playing my flute all of this morning."

"For real?"

"Yep." Nils smiled smugly. "So you can't use your little torture on me, because I can blackmail you back!"

"Awwww, rats." Mark snapped his fingers, grumbling in defeat.

"And honey." Nino chirped in quickly.

Everyone stared at Nino.

"…What?" Nino looked back at everyone.

"Hmmm…" Mark seemed to contemplate for a moment; before snapping his fingers again in thought, but this time from an idea. "I've got it!" he quickly turned back to Nils, as somewhere in the back round the theme for Fire Emblem started playing. "Hey, I bet you're pretty good at getting information out of people, right?"

"That's true." Nils smirked, "I'm not one to brag, but looking innocent and weak is a great way to sneak rare and embarrassing information out of people without them knowing."

"It's settled then!" Mark threw his arms into the air. "Nils can be our fourth party member!"

"…Party member?" Nino wondered aloud.

"Yeah. I lead, you takes notes, Matthew observes the obvious, and Nils can be the interrogator!"

Matthew stopped eating whatever he was eating for a moment, having heard his name.

"Wait…I observe the what?"

"Yeah!" Nino cheered as well, disregarding Matthew. "Common Nils! Help us solve the mystery!"

"Mark," Ninian spoke up, before placing a hand on Nils shoulder. "I'm sorry, but I have to teach Nils some…grown up…lessons now and it is very important I do it soon. He'll have to join you later."

As soon as Ninian has finished, the theme for Fire Emblem came to an abrupt halt.

"Wait…you what?" Nils looked up to his sister puzzled.

"Oh! I know!" Nino said, remembering her own lessons. "Like the birds and the bees!"

"…Erm…right." Ninian tried to give an appeasing smile. In hopes that Nino wouldn't carry on with a blunt explanation of what was probably in her mind on the said topic. "Nino, um, maybe you s-"

"Wait… The what?" Mark spoke up, killing any attempts to prevent what was coming. "I've never heard of that."

"Mark," Matthew whispered to the tactician/detective, "this isn't exactly the best place to be talking about this. Especially if Nils hasn't been taught this before." The thief nudged Mark in the rubs. "Come on you KNOW, the birds and the bees, how they work together? Don't you remember that?"

Mark stopped to think for a moment.

"…But I thought birds ate bees."

"No you idiot! Not like THAT!"

"Hey, Mark is not an idiot!"

"Mark is an idiot when he talks in the third person!"

"Mark does NOT talk in the third person!"

"You're doing it RIGHT NOW!"

"…Mark does not have a witty come back for that."

"But I want to hear it!" Nils protested, glancing back at his sister, then to Nino. "Come on, someone tell me!"

"Ok!" Nino paused to take a breath; more then ready to explain much to the dismay of both Ninian and Matthew.

"Birds are feathered mammals that fly, and bees are insects that fly, make honey, and are also fuzzy!"

"Like Merlinus!" Nils cut in, smiling.

"Exactly!" Nino smiled back.

"…Ok, that joke was disturbing." Matthew mumbled.

"Wait, THAT was what you learned about the birds and the bees?" Mark asked, puzzled.

"Yep." Nino smiled, "why, what else could it have been?"

At that point everyone decided to look at Matthew considering it seemed he knew the answer, while Ninian could only give a sympathetic look. "Me? Why do you think I know?" Matthew lied, closing his eyes incase they said otherwise.

"Because, you said you did!" Nino pointed out.

"What?" Matthew argued. "That's absurd. I did no such thing."

"Yes you did! You whispered to Mark if he remembered about the birds and bees before!"

"…No I didn't." Matthew quickly denied.

"Yes you did!" Nino shot back.

Matthew didn't answer immediately, stopping to think for a moment. After a few seconds he asked Nino in a calm, almost hypnotic voice, "Did I Nino? Did I?"

"Um…yeah. I think you did."

"Did I Nino? Did I?" Matthew repeated.

"Um…yeah…" Nino stopped. "Uh…wait. What were we talking about again?"

"Nothing important really." Matthew smiled, before patting Nino gently on the head and ruffling her hair. "Your good friend Mark, and I were just asking Nils if he had seen Eliwood's royal cookies. Or if he was a thief like me."

"The cookies!" Nino shouted, "oh yeah! I nearly forgot! Hey…" she glanced up at Mark. "Is Nils going to help us too?"

"Um…yeah. I think so." Mark looked to Nils who gave him a thumbs up, before turning to his sister.

"Hey, Ninian, want to come with us too?" he asked, not wanting to leave Ninian out like so many stories do.

"Me?" Ninian questioned in surprise, usually used to just being a well timed plot device character. Looking down to Nils who was giving an encouraging nod to say yes; and to Nino and Matthew, one of which was nodding yes too and the other seemed indifferent, she nodded. "Um…Alright. I guess so."

"AWESOME!" Mark shouted, throwing his arms into the air once again. "We now have five people in our party! That's one more then the non-existent legal Final Fantasy RPG law says we can have!"

"But… What will my sister do?" Nils asked.

"Well, she can be our advisor." Mark continued on. "I mean, heck, SOMEONE in the army practically hates Matthew's and my own guts, and Nino is too innocent for anyone to hate. Plus as the interrogator, you maybe making some new enemies quick Nils."

"…Wonderful." the dragon-kid-teenager muttered.

"But Ninian," Mark pointed to her on his knees, as one would before praying to the heavens. "she's Eliwood's wife practically!" To this, Ninian began to blush. "I mean heck, Lyn is on my side, I think. Hector supports most of what Matthew does, and now we have Eliwood's backing too! All of the Lords are supporting our investigation!"

"And also," Mark quickly stood back up. "You're usually to shy to really get to know anyone. So if anything, we can't say anyone hates you because they haven't meet you."

"…That is a point." Matthew admitted, stopping his train of thought for a moment on how to back out of this crazy plan.

"So it's settled!" Mark shouted once again. "Onward! To hunt our suspects to the ends of Elibe! Unmeasured distances away!"

"Uh, Mark? We could start with the Pegasus Sisters. I mean, Fiora, Florina, and Farina are right over there."

"…Are they a great distance away?"

"Um…I'd say fifty yards at least."

"Eh, good enough."

**(-----)**

Well, there you go folks. Your first chapter of our mystery novel soon to be filled with large amounts of slap stick humor, goofy romance, and cheap cliché theatre antics. With the cracks of those filled in with serious situations, and rampant life changing morals. I hope you enjoyed, and will read the next chapter. Which WILL be about the Pegasus Sisters, and our "ace" detective's team. What will happen you ask? Well that's a secret!


	2. Chapter 2: STOP ADVENTURE!

**Author Note:** Back from the dead! Comes the story, not many were waiting for! Not many, expected an update for! And even less people, have even read before!

And it comes back...with a minor plot twist! Ye' Gods!**  
**

**(-----)**

**Fire Emblem 7: Rekka No Ken**

The Great Cookie Theft, by A BlackHole

_Chapter 2: STOP ADVENTURE!_

**(------)**_  
_

"…Mark?"

"Yes Matthew?

"Why am I the one stuck doing the real dirty work this time?"

Sighing, Mark could only roll his eyes at his associate's incompetence. "Matthew," speaking as if addressing a young child, he rubbed his temples gently. "It is a renown fact that all Thieves has just what it takes, even more so if you're a spy which confidently you are, to find all the information needed on people at any given time and place. You are the PERFECT man for this job!"

To Matthew however, that seemed to hardly be an argument to justify his assigned task.

"…That's not what I remember."

(Flashback.)

"_Hey," staring up at the clouds like the lazy bard he truly was, Nils tilted his heard towards Matthew. Considering the mood they were both in, it seemed to the Bard that this was yet another perfect chance for him to skip out on his assigned duties. Although as far as working for Mark went, doing one's "duty" was most likely to be a task as idiotic as it was simple and boring. "I don't want to look for Lowen, I'll give you ten Gold if you do it."_

"_No way," Matthew said, laying down in an equally lazy mannerism. "You do it. I'm tired after having to talk to those three damned Pegasus Knights."_

"_Three mental cases?"_

"_That's the nice way to put it." _

"…_But I'm sick of listening to Mark." Nils groaned. "We've only asked three people, and already we're out of bandages for Mark, exhausted ourselves, and lost a member of our team."_

"_Nino is with Jaffar, right?"_

"_I think so," Nils said, "come on Matthew, do me this favor once. I'm REALLY tired after telling my hopelessly long story."_

"_Yeah? Well so am I for having to listen to it. So kiss it dragon-boy." _

_Glaring at the Thief for his lie, Nils took a moment to think. This was his chance, and he wasn't about to miss it. "Fine, how about this?" Taking out a Gold coin from one of his pouches, Nils handed it over to Matthew. "We'll do a coin toss, whoever wins has to find Lowen?"_

_Not paying attention to the specific details of the deal, Matthew just nodded. "Whatever."_

"_Alright," tossing the coin into the air, Matthew prepared himself to catch it. "Call what side you want." _

"_Heads!" Matthew shouted._

"_Tails!" Nils called. _

_Lifting his hand, Matthew beamed. "HAH! Heads! I win! That means I…I…ah crap."_

_Nils smiled._

_Looking over at Nils, Matthew frowned. "I have to go find Lowen for Mark now, don't I?"_

"_Yup."_

"…_I hate you."_

(End Flashback.)

Blinking to shake off the after effects of a boring flashback, Matthew continued to protest to Mark. "But HOW am I supposed to know what EXACTLY Lowen was doing when we were at breakfast!?"

"Simple," Mark smiled like the genius he was, "go up and ask him."

"Ask him!?" Matthew shouted. "And what if he lies!?"

"He won't lie," Mark continued his stupid smile before even shedding a single tear. "Because…he's a TRUE KNIGHT OF PHEARE!"

Taking a moment to laugh like the lunatic he was, Mark sighed happily wiping a tear from his eyes. "His loyalty and dedication is really something else, huh?"

"…Mark." This time Matthew spoke slowly, slower than Mark had to him before. "If we're trying to find a guilty criminal, you know, one that's already committed a crime openly, don't you think there's a LITTLE chance that he or she will try to lie to us when giving their testimony? AND attempt to pin the crime to someone innocent?"

"Lie? To us?" Mark gasped, "that's absurd! No true Knight, which Lowen is, would ever lie to his superior! You should be ashamed of yourself for such… MEAN accusations Matthew!"

Gritting his teeth, Matthew took a deep breath.

"Well what SHOULD I do Mark?"

"Have you tried looking into his eyes? I heard you can tell if someone is lying by how their eyes move when they answer."

"Mark, we can't see Lowen's eyes."

"WHAT!?" Mark gasped again, about the news that was certainly news to him. "I've never noticed that…" Scratching his chin, Mark nodded as he began to piece together the puzzle in his mind. "I see it now… Yeah… Some loyal Knight he is! A filthy, dirty, orange armored, horse riding, teal haired criminal is more like it!"

"How does riding a horse or having teal hair make Lowen a criminal?"

"Simple," Mark said. "All bandits OBVIOUSLY ride horses after robbing a bank! And the teal hair CAN'T be his real hair color, so he's obviously hiding his identity from someone! SOMEONE AFTER HIM FOR A CRIME HE COMMITED!"

"…Then does that mean Fiora is a criminal?"

"Huh?"

"We just finished asking Fiora questions, remember? The last five idiotic minutes of my life? And she was innocent, rode a flying horse, and has teal…ish…hair."

"…But she doesn't count." Smiling, Mark's eyes lit up with an idea. "Hey! Maybe we should set up an interrogation trial or something. You know, we could use Phaere's own court system and everything! It's not as if Lord Eliwood is using it right now."

Blinking, Matthew decided maybe for Lowen's sake that someone defend him before Mark's insane mock trial began. After all, he could already imagine a court ruled, kept under order, and judged by Mark. While Lowen was to be defended by the rookie attorney Mark, and the professional prosecutioner Mark asking ridiculously inappropriate questions.

"I don't think we should do that Mark. For many, many reasons," he held his hand up as if swearing. "Trust me."

Mark blinked.

"Why can't we do it?"

"Oh, I don't know," Matthew shrugged, sarcasm dripping from his words. "Maybe because there's an idiot on the loose who's attempting to solve a mystery and will end up doing more harm if let loose to do as he pleases?"

"I see your point… Fascinating," Mark sounded interested. "And just WHO is this idiot you speak of?"

Matthew groaned. The first day of the investigation was still a long ways from being over.

After a moment of silence, Mark spoke.

"…Matthew?"

"…Yes, Mark?"

"…Why can't I be the sworn in as a royal legal Detective for Eliwood, Lyndis, and Hector?"

"…Uh…Well,"

It stuck Matthew at that point, that the long chain of events that had occurred from Mark's particularly innocent request when the day had started earlier would now have to be summarized into an extremely simplistic and undisputable story.

Disregarding the ceremonial formalities revolving around a Lordling or Princess swearing in an individual into a royal position, if Mark wanted his royal post (despite how fictional) he would have had to be sworn in by the chief court justice of Phaere. And the honorable gentleman occupying the post, who Matthew could only describe as steely, with a domineering personality stemming with loyalty to Eliwood's family line, had actually resigned abruptly rather than collaborate in an act he felt was utterly outside of the spirit of any law in Elbe's existence.

This unexpected action left the next in line of Phaere's court system, with little choice but to call on one of the other many people making up the court's bureaucracy.

The woman then on the court also threatened to resign voluntarily, fourteen minutes after being notified that she was being sounded out. She had put forth her explanation to Eliwood an overwhelming yearning to return to the field she apparently loved most: housework. All her life working in Phaere's court system, she had stated, she had aspired only to be a simple housewife.

The other plain and orthodox members of the court were spurned as simply not colorful enough and insufficiently well known. Their rejection became all the more final when from their chambers the constitutional doubt filtered out through unnamed sources and unidentified background officials as to whether ANY honorable member of Phaere's court in the land of Lycia truly possessed the nerve to swear in a man like Mark into an office close to the highest ranking of the monarchy.

Could someone like Mark perform official tasks for the royalty without being recognized by the royalty's supporting staff first?

"I still don't get it," said Mark, not waiting for Matthew to answer. "Could you explain it again?"

"I…don't think I can," Matthew said grimly.

"Try. Who appointed the chief justice of the court?"

"Eliwood's father did."

"Right. But I can't be appointed a royal detective until I've been sworn in?"

"That's right too," Matthew said glumly.

"Who swears me in?"

"Whoever you want to."

"I…want the chief court justice."

"Phaere currently no longer has a chief court justice."

"And we will have no chief justice until Eliwood approves of one? And I can't be approved until we-"

"You've got in now," Matthew heaved a sigh of relief. "…I think."

In silence, and with an expression of surly disappointment, Matthew was regretting once more that he and his wife-to-be were no longer on speaking terms for a couple of major reasons. He hankered for someone trustworthy with whom he could be burlesque such conversations in safety. He thought of Lord Hector, yet, Matthew was also intelligent enough to understand that he himself would probably not think so much of himself either if her were anybody other than himself. Matthew was honest enough to know when he was dishonest, and had just enough intelligence left to know, in the long run, he had none.

"Yes. I think I've got it," said the detective/tactician, with a glimmer of hope. "I think I'm beginning to click again on all fingers."

"That would not surprise me." Matthew sounded a lot less affirmative than he meant to.

"Well, why can't we do both of them together? Couldn't I be sworn in as a royal detective while Eliwood is swearing in the sucker as the new chief court justice too?"

"No," said Matthew.

"Why not?"

"He'll have to be confirmed by the lower courts first. They would have to agree to his appointment first."

Well then," Mark sat up straight with a very broad smile of nifty achievement, one he usually wore when working at a three by three puzzle cube thrown at him by Lady Lyndis to keep him occupied. "Couldn't the lower courts be swearing him in at the same time Eliwood appoints him while at the same time he swears me in?"

"No," Matthew told him firmly. "And please don't ask me why. It's not possible Mark. Please take my word on it."

"Well then," Mark huffed, "how in the hell did this mess ever come about!?"

"I don't know," Matthew warned himself reprovingly that he, at all costs, must not sound sarcastic. It was something Mark was able to pick up at unwanted times. "It could just be another oversight by the Lycian League."

"WHAT!?" Mark immediately stood up, as if possessed by an overwhelming force that was propelling him into a choleric rage originating from some inconceivable blasphemy. "There are no oversights, are there!? The Lycian League constitution is perfect, isn't it!?"

Mathew couldn't help but think how, that after nearly a millennium of peace, the entire continent of Elbe was beginning to fall apart in timing with Lady Lyndis's discovery of Mark on the plains of Sacae only a year ago.

"…We have several amendments, I think."

"What!? You do!? I don't know that."

"It's not a secret, Mark."

"How was I supposed to know? And what is an amendment anyway!? Some kind of change?"

"Yeah."

"Well how was I supposed to know?" Mark's mood was again one of morose despair. "So that's where we still stand, right? I can't appoint a-"

"YES." Matthew deemed it better to cut the idiot off rather than to have them both subjected to the litany once more.

"Well! Then it's just like a…a…Catch-22 isn't it?" the tactician blurted out unexpectedly, and then brightened at this evidence of his own inspiration. "I don't want Eliwood to appoint a new chief justice until I become a royal detective, but the same person can't swear me into my position until Eliwood appoints him with my permission."

Mark then looked over to Matthew.

"…Isn't that a Catch-22?"

Matthew looked to Mark, before starting to stare fiercely at the grass and began to make up his mind sooner to forfeit his position of "prestige" with the incoming brute of Ostia rather than having to deal with a person like Mark on a daily-basis.

He began to stare at the sky, and saw, a large simplified cloud that seemed to hang from the sky positioning the entire world around it. With the idiotic conversation still fresh in his mind, Matthew began brooding upon Lycia's historical past. Possibly, it had always been thus, he was thinking, between sovereign and adviser, that the subordinate was in all ways but rank the superior. It was then that Matthew, in exhausted desperation, snapped out accidentally the solution to their problems that would save the day.

And just maybe, the cookies too.

**(-----)**

"When can I see her!?" Fiora heard her younger blue haired sister demand. Her sister's hair was thicker than her own and would notably curl, as it was now, when stressed.

"As soon as she's safe," answered Nils forwardly.

"Fiora! Didn't he just say that Florina WAS safe!?"

Fiora glanced away. "It's what I thought I heard."

Pressing her brow against the pane of the glass window, Fiora stared intently at the field of grass bellow and the colorful kaleidoscope of trees and fauna, wondering, with a downhearted presentiment of already having missed out on much in her life, if there could possibly ever be any joy to be found in living in such a countryside assuming she could ever bring herself to move out of Ilia. The stunning landscape before her was riddle with pockets of fields and plains, and during this season would be ringed about with the drifting tides of Phaerean villagers doing their own routine business.

"I meant safe for us." She heard Nils defend himself plaintively and turned to watch. Nils appeared suspiciously triumphant for the question he'd been asked. "She is safe for our investigation, and cannot be appropriated by even the royal monarchy of Bern if they were to try and take her for whatever reasons."

"Where is she?" Farina wanted to know.

"In some place, I would guess. I really don't know."

"Does Mark know!?"

"Do I know if he knows?"

"If you did, would you tell me?"

"If he said that I could."

"If he said that you couldn't?"

"I would say I don't know."

"As you're saying right now." Fiora cut in, as her Farina let out a stream of inconceivable words before storming off. "At least you're truthful."

Nils nodded. "I try."

"Even when you lie," Fiora wrinkled her nose. "There's a paradox here. We are talking in circles."

"But I never went to Etruian divinity school."

"And what," continued Fiora, "am I supposed to tell Lord Hector when he comes looking? If there is anyone who can get straight to the bottom of this mess," she threatened, "I certainly will bet it is him."

"What could he do?" Nils scoffed. "Matthew is always with us."

Briefly defeated, Fiora muster up another counter.

"…Lady Lyndis?"

"Oh, no," said Nils, turning whiter than customary when cornered. "I-I'll have to find out. What you should tell Hector truthfully-"

"I do not," Fiora stressed, "want to lie to him Nils."

The teenage dragon seemed offended. "I'll have you know I NEVER choose to be anything but truthful. It's right here in my own manual on manners and labor, underneath Lies. What YOU must tell Lord Hector," Nils was now reciting dutifully, "is that she is well and misses him. She also looks forward to rejoining her as soon as she is not in or a danger to everything else on Elbe."

"…That's a new wrinkle, isn't it?"

"Please," Nils flinched, "that one happened to be true."

"…And you would say that even if it weren't?"

"That is also perfectly true," admitted Nils, with a nerve only a hundred year old dragon hiding as a teenager could pull off.

"Nils," said Fiora harshly, in a tone signifying that she was no longer playing. "I'm going to want to talk to my sister soon, and I know Mark knows where she is. And I know what you'll say. You'll say that you have to find out."

"Well," Nils corrected, "I'll have to find out first if I can find out."

"Find out if you can find out if Mark can arrange it. Because I know Lady Lyndis could."

Nils paled again. "You'd r-really…go to Lady Lyndis?"

"Lady Lyndis will come to me first once she finds out that Florina is missing. And together we will find my sister if need be."

Nils was shaken. "I…I'll go tell Mark. I must tell Mark first, you see."

Fiora simply smiled, as she watched the dragon kid flee.

"You go do that."

**(-----)**

"Alright, time for me to organize what we've found out so far…"

There was a certain appeal to proper organization, Matthew held in mind, that also ran the chance of appealing for more money later onward while answering above and beyond the call of duty as an Ostian spy. Not that he was one to ever go above the call of duty to one's province; the problem of course mainly stemming from the fact that his regularly assigned duties were already far and beyond above the call of duty for a regularly paid political informant. Life was too short, as he had learned the hard way, and the human body far too frail for the exertions he now demanded of himself daily.

"Nils will be back with his aftermath report on the Pegasus sisters," Matthew continued to write, while speaking to himself. "Nino will be back soon…which I am not looking forward to…"

Nino had of course gone out earlier in an effort to search for the one man she knew could get answers out of anyone in the army: Jaffar.

Whether or not Jaffar would have the patients to wait for many of the members of the army to answer questions when interrogated, was questionable.

Matthew groaned, "I still have to find Lowen…I don't want to have to do this crap."

Laying back down on one of the many lawns of castle Phaere, he couldn't help but notice how the birds were about. And how the sun was shining not too brightly, but enough to fell the warm rays basking the earth around him. And how the wind blew gentle enough to bend the stunted grass all around him, while cooling his body just comfortably enough. Without all of the problem stacking up around him, the world seemed strangely harmonic and oddly at peace with the rest of the universe.

It was a nice change.

A very nice cha-

"MATTHEW!"

"…Sigh."

He knew that voice. That terribly youthful voice. Although rarely was it ever voiced so loudly and…um, desperately?

"MATTHEW!" Nils shouted again, still running toward him. "We've got TROUBLE! Big trouble!"

Matthew could only wager that meant things were getting from bad, to worse.

"Nils," Matthew groaned one last time. "The world feels like it's at peace. What could Mark or anyone have done wrong that hasn't doomed the world at this point?"

"It's serious!" Nils defended, in between exhausted breathes. "Fiora and Farina want their sister back! Or they'll go to-"

"What?" Matthew interrupted, resisting the urge to groaning again. "They can have her! It's not like we're holding under arrest still." He waved his hand, as motioning for the dragon-kid-person to bugger off. "Tell them we'll keep the idiot away from their sister from now on."

"Yeah, about that," Nils shrugged. "Last time I checked we sort of do. Or at least Mark said we did somewhere."

"No, we don't." Matthew said again, refusing to roll back over. "Mark let her go after we asked the three sisters together an hour ago. Remember?"

"But I remember," Nils rebuffed, "that Mark thought Florina was hiding something by how…uh…well, you know, how she ALWAYS acts to men. So he asked the guards from Phaere to take her to a secret place for later questioning."

Matthew then rolled back over.

"So wait, you think Mark still has Florina somewhere waiting for her to be interrogated? And her sisters want her back really, really soon?"

"Yeah. Or they'll sic Lyndis on us. But," Nils then scratched his head in thought. "I don't remember Mark ever telling me where that was…"

"…Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Do you think I'm saying what you think I'm saying?"

"Nils! Not now!" Matthew gritted his teeth. "I don't trust Mark to remember which part of a lance to try and attack someone with! If you're telling me that he's put Florina away against her will in some secret place to be interrogated, that's really secret, then-"

"Probably…by supper time," nodded Nils, happy with his estimation. "He'll have completely forgotten about her and everything abo-"

Matthew's eye's met Nils.

"…Uh-oh."

**(-----)**

**Author's Note: **And our first victim is, sadly for her, Florina! A victim in a way that will, sadly for her, probably continue right up until the story ends. Boo-hoo.

But on the bright side, she'll get more attention that some others because of it!

For the record, what happened during Fiora and Farina's interrogation will be revealed eventually. I choose not to for now. Yeah.

So the real question now is: who will be NEXT!? Knights? Swordsmen? Mages? Oh-my!


	3. Chapter 3: The Grand Dragon's Speech

Author's Note: The third chapter! The big number three! And only one person is missing so far!

**(-----)**

**Fire Emblem 7: Rekka No Ken**

The Great Cookie Theft, by A BlackHole

_Chapter 3: The Grand Dragon's Speech_

**(-----)**

"…We don't get enough in-game time."

"…But…we're not the main characters in the game."

"This is a message from Lord Nergal-"

"It's a figure of speech, you stupid puppet."

"I beg to differ, because THIS is a –"

"Don't. Even. Try it. But…we need to think of something. Something to impress Lord Nergal…"

"…We could try overthrowing the monarchy of Bern?"

"Are we really THAT desperate?"

"No. Nor' are we SUICIDAL either. So let's go attack those fools all cowering together in Castle Pherae then, instead."

"Ok."

"Yeah, why not?"

"This is a message from Lord Nergal-"

"…Does he have an off button?"

"I couldn't find it in the instruction manual."

"…He CAME with one?"

"Yes. Don't you remember?"

"Remember what?"

"Oh, you know! After the first mistake with you-know-who, which incidentally, master never learned how to activate his voice box-"

"This is a message from Lord Nergal-"

"I think somewhere around the twentieth or twenty fifth creation he decided that it would be smarter having Morphs who could verbally answer to commands."

"It sort of reminds me of a record that keeps skipping, you know?"

"Wait, a what?"

"…Uh…well, you know-"

"BOTH OF YOU! I DON'T CARE! I'm NOT going to listen to him all the way from Dread island to Lycia! So shut him up and lets GO!"

**(------)**

"Hey, Nils!" Nino peeked her head over their stage, before looking back to the dragon-kid. "Nils, are you ready?"

"Nino," Nils simply smiled, "I was born,…a long time ago. BUT! I was born ready."

"Are you sure it wasn't from a big egg?" Mark scratched his chin, "like a GIANT leathery egg? Because, well, you know. Because last time I CHECKED, I was born bloody and screaming. You could have been a giant yolk."

Nils gave a light hearted laugh.

"Yes Mark," he rubbed his hands together sinisterly, whispering quietly, "and if all goes according to my plan, everyone will leave this world the same way…"

He then stopped to think about it.

"…And maybe I'll throw a little fire in the mix there too."

"Nils!" he heard Nino shout, "stop mumbling to yourself and get up on stage! Look how many people are here! They're all waiting!"

"Hold your horses! I need to prepare myself!"

Sighing, Nils glanced at both Nino and Mark before watching the various slave laboring carpenters leave the scene, HIS stage finally having been finished. The show, was now his to run how HE wanted. The crow would be enticed by HIS speaking skills, and would cooperate with him UNQUESTIONINGLY out of fear for themselves!

It almost made him want to laugh. Sinisterly…

"Nils!"

"ALRIGHT! I'm going already! Sheesh!"

Nino was now first on his list of destruction. Next to Mark and Matthew.

Or maybe equal to Mark. Taking out Jaffar would be hard work.

He would have to work that out later.

But not before he tried to figure out where Florina was. He would have to ask Mark about that soon.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! And children of all ages! Hear me speak!"

Climbing to the top of the hastily constructed stage, the single, short, Bard stood towering several feet above the people that had begun to surround him in very large numbers. Much larger numbers than he had predicted, in fact. They had asked Marcus only minutes ago to ask people to come to Pherae's town square, and it seemed the old Knight commander of Pherae had managed to gather up a large congregation of the locals whom had come obediently without question.

Nils was more than confident he could do the job.

It wasn't mindless task like the kind of crap he had passed off to Matthew earlier in the day.

At least, he hoped it wouldn't be.

Then again, he was enjoying himself now.

"Come one and all! Citizens of Pherae! Hear me speak! Congratulations are in order for the hard work you all put in every single day!"

Nils found himself genuinely smiling, as more and more people gathered at the base of his stage to listen. "I'm speaking to you here today, to give you all wonderful news…about your world!"

"Blue skies, white clouds," his two arms flew into the air, before their careful decent back to earth. He could feel the eyes of maybe even a quarter of the entire city of the capital of Pherae were now looking and listening unto him.

Perhaps this, was truly, what it felt like to be a real King.

"Bountiful crops, and stout livestock. Happy families and kindhearted neighbors. I am a stranger to Lycia! A simple Bard who travels across Elibe! But I can see, this province is filled with so many wondrous things!"

He turned, shying away from his gathered audience.

"But…! There is still something missing!"

Nils whipped around, flute in hand over his shoulder as she passed it from hand to hand like a baton. He marched forward, right up to the end of the stage, hovering over those in front of him. "A tiny speck of uncertainty that steals into each bright day! Is this how it should be!? Should we be living these incomplete lives!?"

"Shouldn't OUR world, with our luxuries granted unto us by OUR Lord, be as enjoyable as possible!?"

Stopping, he hung his head down, lowering his eyes to the floor.

"It is only natural, to harbor some suspicions…some fears…yes."

But again, his eyes rose to life, with the light of a fire flaring in each pupil.

"But what is going on!? What is happening to the kingdom we are living in!? Our beloved ruler, Lord Eliwood," pointing with his flute, his direction turned to the tall towers of castle Pherae over the treetops in the distance, "has had a precious item stolen from him only today! Today! On such a beautiful, peaceful day!"

"But that is not all!" Ignoring the gasps and murmurs of the now massive crowd from his revelation, Nils continued with the momentum of the moment. "Not by a long shot! The magic of royal wizards and witches predict that in the very near future, lightning powerful enough to burn down forests and destroy villages will be pouring down from the skies! In fact-AH-HAH!"

Running forward to the end of the stage, he threw him arm out singling out a group of men in the crowd standing near a certain carrot-top Caelin commander, "you laughed just now, didn't you!? And you! All of you over there too!"

He threw a finger out accusingly in all directions. "all of you! What I just said, sounded like nonsense, didn't it? 'How ridiculous,' you are all thinking! But I believe it is true! I truly do!"

Nils was now shouting, "just as I believe dragons, who disappeared mysteriously ending the Scouring, are still alive in another world today! The world we live in is changing! Changing, so very fast! A millennium of peace is ending, and in place, an unknown fate for all of us looms just over the horizon!"

"But, there is hope! Happiness," he reached into the sky, "is just days away! And will be available to everyone of this lovely territory soon!"

"Happiness is something everyone deserves! And everyone shall receive, if they so choose to!"

Taking a breath, Nils stepped back calmly to the end of the stage.

"I would like to thank everyone, for coming to listen to me today." With a gentle and somber tone, he clasped his hands together and gave a bow to the city's residents.

"I have information, to be handed out to you, on how to obtain this 'happiness' I spoke of." Giving a youthful smile, he strutted back to where he had first started his tirade from. "It will cost you nothing, and all you must do is seek it out when we offer it."

Giving one final bow, he waved to the audience.

"I hope you will accept my offer when the time comes! And, remember! Happiness is only a few days away!"

**(-----)**

"…What can you see? Has he gotten to the front yet?"

"Sain! I can't see anything now! Move out of the way!"

"Oh! It looks like my boon companion has done it, milady! He's coming back now!"

Watching from afar as well, with her own convictions, Lyn slipped herself down from the rooftop of a building silently. With Wil and Sain still chattering behind her, she hasting herself away from the gathered city population and into one of the many alleyways that would allow for a quick escape through the woods and back to the quieter castle Pherae. She could still hear the wave of people both gasp in horror and astonishment at words she could no longer make out, having been hypnotized in what, she was forced to admit, was Nils' surprisingly powerful oratorical skill.

Turning another corner and out into another alley, she bypassed people heading in the exact opposite direction toward the flute player's grand performance. She couldn't help but wonder if any of the people listening and watching knew that it was only cookies Nils was going on about.

Simple, royal, cookies. Cookies. Something so simply stupid th-

"Well, what did you think?"

Not flinching, at all. Period. Nope. She nearly tripped over her own feet to stop herself, only to see the smiling face of Matthew coming out from behind a near tree. Lyn had failed to notice that she had made it out of the town already, and was approaching the forest to freedom.

"He is…talented," she submitted warily. "But isn't this…a bit much? You're having them all believe that it is as if someone kidnapped Ninian from the castle."

"It is important," Matthew defended, "something that is personally reserved for a Lord of a monarchy, and those who are given permission to access rights to, has been stolen from inside of the family castle."

Lyn just…stared, at Matthew.

"You can't be serious."

And suddenly, with that, a very cold wind blew between the two on that summer day.

"…No, I really wish I weren't."

Matthew heaved a heavy sigh, giving in. "But Lord Hector wants me to keep Mark occupied. Or at least until Eliwood's cooks can make more royal cookies."

"Matthew," Lyn said with an undisputable calm, "it looks more as if Nils is forming a lynch mob out of the city of Pherae."

"I would not doubt that," the thief said, giving another heavy sigh, "I have no doubt in my mind that Nils would take the opportunity, if ever given to him, to possibly over throw Eliwood as ruler of Pherae. Before taking over Lycia and eliminating country after country in murderous and bloody campaigns that would paint a portrait of carnage and gore across-"

"Matthew!" Lyn's voice was indignant, as if she had been insulted in some way Matthew could never understand, "where do you get off saying something like that!?"

The thief resisted scoffing, snorting, or anything else that could be interpreted as insulting and insubordinate.

"I'll have you know," he couldn't help but feel now that he had to defend himself, "that I say nothing I do not truly mean, Lady Lyndis."

"Would you say it to him?"

"…Excuse me?"

"I said," repeated Lyn, crossing her arms firmly, "would you say that to him? To Nils?"

"I think," Matthew turned around to walk away, "that Nils would just compliment me on my keen observations and knowledge of personalities. I do really."

She watched as the thief cleared his throat delicately. "Lady Lyndis, if you don't mind, I am going to take my leave. I have other problematic business to take care of. Mainly," he jerked a finger in the general direction of the grand-speech-now-ended, "I have absolutely NO CLUE what they've just promised to give everyone in Pherae."

"Very well," distraught, but not distracted enough by the increasing number of people coming and then leaving Nils' rally as soon as they had came, to sense that Matthew probably had other agendas to pursue, Lyn frowned. "You do not need my permission in the future, to leave."

"Thank you, milady," He bowed curtly "I wi-"

"But Matthew," with the small frown on her face hinting to her minor discomfort, she shot the thief a look she had no need to practice, and very well understood its' effects on any target she used it on. "Have you seen Florina around? She was supposed to meet me this afternoon after she said Mark wanted to see her…"

Matthew swallowed.

It was if a wolf was approaching him, ready to leap and tear him to pieces for no reason other than it could.

"I…would not know." he groped his mind for something to say that, in a sense, could be justified as an honest answer.

And hopefully, the princess of Caelin would be fooled by it.

"…I haven't seen Florina since I talked to her this morning."

"…I see." Apparently satisfied, Lyn then turned back around to the enchanted crowd of Pherae. The size of the mob was still growing and shrinking with intensity, and she could see the many people leaving all had the mystery item in question in their hands. "You may go now. I'm sure keeping an eye on Mark…is a full time hassle."

"Like you would not believe," he smiled, "mil-"

"But, Matthew," interrupting his once more, Lyn's eyes met his own with an even stronger intensity than before, "you would not lie to me…to save…Mark? Would you?"

"Oh, no Milady," Matthew then smiled. A smile, which, to her belief, was a very relived one. "You are far too scary, to ever risk, getting caught lying to."

Watching Matthew go and disappear as quickly has he had arrived, Lyn's thoughts turned to herself. It was unsettling, she found, that more and more often it seemed she had caught herself using intimidation to get what she wanted out of those who she openly called her friends. There were the benefits. The benefits of being allowed to freely combine social status along with reputable physical prowess. It was something she would never have dreamed of possessing while living out on the plains of Sacae. The same plains, her same home, that she could not shake the yearning to return in spite of all of the luxuries Lycia royalty had to offer.

It was all very foreign to her. And despite two whole had passed since claiming her blood rights to her kingdom, things had not gotten any easier to understand. The rituals she could tolerate. She could understand the need for formalities in ceremonies, mannerism and traditions that need be followed to spiritually and physically separate the upper crust of society from the commoners.

In it's own way, the Lorca tribe in Sacae was the same.

In a rare moment of intelligence, Mark had mentioned it. In passing, without a second thought to its significance.

Both Lycia and Sacae shared one thing in common: a rich history of tradition, ever since the end of the Scouring.

And an equally rich history of being unable, and unwilling to weigh the different traditions of others against their own.

"…Kent!"

To her amusement, she listened the sound of someone stumbling through the foliage behind her before watching the Crimson Shield climb out from the brush behind her along the forest's edge, right on cue. He was good at doing that, she mused. A little too good at times.

She smiled, "did you manage to get one of those fliers, as I asked?"

"Yes, my liege," she watched him brush the leaves and other such out from his lighter Calvary armor, before handing the item over. "Nils was having people pass them out, after getting them to volunteer in front of everyone else. I was-"

**(-----)**

"Excellent job Nils!" Mark rubbed his palms together cunningly. "Now those fools will soon be ripe to do our bidding! This plan could not have gone smoother!"

"Yes, but," Nils seemed disappointed, "it could have gone better."

Mark seemed aghast, "what!? Are you sure!?"

"Yes. I am quite sure."

"What!? Explain yourself then! The entire city may have come to watch you!"

"Yes, but we didn't get other people from OTHER cities to come and listen."

"He's got you there, Mark."

"You see? Thank you Nino."

"Your welcome, Nils."

"But how would we have gotten other people to come any see you?" Mark protested, "the next Lycian city is probably…MILES away!"

"That's not the point, Mark. You see," Nils said simply, before sighing in resignation, "I forgot to read the instruction manual. If I had only had time to read the manual first."

"Oooh," Nino nodded her head, "of course! That would explain it. Totally."

"You see? Thank you Nino."

"Your welcome, Nils."

"What!?" Mark looked at both Nino and Nils, "explain what!? What instruction manual?"

"What instruction manual?" Nils tried to act how he imagined being both shocked and outraged at the same time would be like. "WHAT instruction manual!? Mark! How could you NOT understand the power of the instruction manual!?"

"I have never heard of this manual," Mark lowered his eyes downward in shame, "I know of the 'manual of labor,' and even the 'manual of dexterity,' but never an instructional manual on speaking."

"Oh, well its is very powerful," Nils said, considering perhaps to take pity on his hapless tactician for his lack of knowledge on this one specific incident. "Very powerful. VERY."

"Yes, powerful," Nino nodded in agreement, "so powerful, that it can teach you how to attract people from other cities to listen to you speak."

"You see? Thank you Nino."

"Your welcome, Nils."

"That IS pretty powerful," Mark submitted humbly. Looking over his shoulder to the left before giving a paranoid glance to his right, he knelt down to the height of his two cohorts in front of him. "So…where did you learn about this manual? And where can I read it?"

Nils and Nino both looked at each other, before bursting into laughter.

"Mark!" Nils chuckled, "surely you must understand that there is no REAL instructional manual that could help a person do that!"

"Speaking like Nils does is a practiced skill," Nino explained with a smile, while Nils passed off five Gold behind his back and out of Mark's view to her palm behind her back, before she slipped it into a hidden pocket in her skirt. "No instructional book could teach you that."

"You see? Thank you Nino."

"Your welcome, Nils."

"B-But," Mark was now wrought with a pointless distress, "I was told that it would be possible to attract people from other towns…MILES away! Miles! Surely Nils, you could learn how to it!"

"I could," Nils smiled arrogantly, "I could. But mainly I just don't want you to read this book before I get a chance to."

"…And I WILL someday," he scowled, "once I find a way around my annoying sister."

"Hey! But look on the bright side!" Nino cut in quickly, to distract Mark from the fact that Nils was now swearing vengeance against unspecific people under his breathe, "that means that what Nils did today WAS the best we could have gotten on such short notice! It WAS a success!"

"Nino! You're absolutely right!" Mark's face beamed like a high intensity laser that could literally fry and sterilize anything caught looking, "then this afternoon WAS a rousing success! Cheers all around!"

"You see?" Nils finished recomposing himself. "Thank you Nino."

"Your welcome, Nils," Nino said, as the dragon kid forked over another five Gold.

"But then again! Of course," Nils smiled, a true smile showing that he had enjoyed putting on the show and being the center of attention for the day. "What else would you expect from me?"

"A complete disaster!" chirped Nino, "I can just imagine you telling everyone that you're going to begin to BURN the entire village from the ground up!"

"Nino, Nino," Nils groaned, shaking his head in mock disappointment, "as an ancient ice Dragon I would have FROZEN the entire village, not burnt it. No matter how both choices sound agonizingly appealing in their own way, I would prefer, personally, dealing icy death over flaming fiery doom."

"Heeey, wait just a darn minute," Mark glanced at Nils in a suspicious manor, "you don't mean that seriously, DO you?"

"No," Nils rolled his eyes, "of course not. I am not evil, Mark. Nergal is evil. Remember how poorly that guest bathroom was stocked? Well his KITCHEN was worse! Why ELSE do you think we fled Dread Isle in that small fragile boat? Morphs don't NEED to eat!"

"That's a good point," Nino agreed, "he doesn't like spending Gold on anything, I remember."

"Then what about the Black Fang?"

"They forged for stuff living on the island. Or so I think. But it doesn't matter," Nils rolled his eyes again, "I swear on my ridiculously powerful dragon heritage I could use to enslave you all that I'm telling the truth, ok?"

"Hmmm...well, alright," Mark shrugged, apparently convinced, "I guess I can let you get off with a warning for now."

"And," Mark coughed, "a small fine in Gold."

"What!?" Nils shouted, "why!?"

"For failing to top my male unquestionably questionable naturally normal positively poignant tactical trade smarty senses! AND for lying about a certain book with a certain context that I am not certainly sure of its' certain exists or not!"

"What!?" Nils shouted again, now outraged, "that's a load of crap and you know it! I can't even believe those words strung together make a REAL sentence!"

"Silence!" Bellowed Mark back, "your insubordination will cost you DEARLY if you continue this behavior!"

"Oh yeah!? What can YOU do!?"

"I can sentence you to rat and honey torture! AGAIN! Or I'll send you to Pherae's always-cold-winter-weather-like-cold gulag instead!"

"I TOLD you I'm an ICE dragon! And Pherae doesn't have a gulag, you idiot! All Eliwood has is a now-empty basement storage room with doors that don't even lock!"

"Huh?" Nino cut in, tilting her head in confusion. "Then where were we when we sent Florina off for further questioning?"

Both Mark and Nils looked at Nino.

"…Oh. …Yeah. Huh?"

Then they thought about it a little more. A lot more, really.

"…Oh. …OH. HUH."

"Oh, that is a problem," Mark shook his head, "Lyndis will be ever-so peeved if Florina doesn't show up for tea in the mid-week in the afternoon. And we know how many things get damaged when Lyn is angry."

"If they're YOUR bones, than I could care less," Nils crossed his arms stubbornly, "Florina isn't my problem. Yet, anyways."

"Besides," Nils pointed a finger at Mark accusingly, "YOU were the last one with her! So it's your fault she's missing?"

"MY fault!?" Mark scoffed, before scoffing twice more to show how skilled he was at scoffing when offended, or just scoffing in general, "it was YOUR idea that Florina wasn't being truthful and that we should send her off for endless torture and interrogation!"

Nils stopped.

"…What?"

"I SAID, it was your f-"

"No you idiot!" Nils shouted, "what did you JUST say a second ago!? At the end of your idiotic mammal speak!?"

"It was your idea that Florina wasn't being truthful and we should send her off for non-stop torture and interrogat-ACK!"

"You IDIOT!" Nils was now shaking and strangling Mark, much to Nino's silent amusement because Nils' limited size portions compared to Mark's prevented him from doing it as freely as he probably wanted to. "I NEVER would have said THAT! HOW could you even THINK of doing that to someone who Lyn protects like a TIGER!"

"Like a bear!" Nino joined in.

"Like a LION!"

"Like a badger!"

"Like a WOLF!"

"Like a…a…giraffe!"

"Like a-…wait, what?"

Both Mark and Nils looked at Nino.

"What?" Nino stared back at the two of them, "an angry giraffe can be absolutely terrifying too!"

"…Are not," Nils said skeptically, "I have NEVER heard of a dangerous giraffe before."

"ARE too!" Nino shot back, "there are TONS of angry giraffe attack incidents! Especially four-sword style giraffe-man assassins! Jaffar knows A LOT about them from fights with them! They can fly and shoot lasers too!"

"Lasers!? …Well," Nils scratched his chin. "Maybe. In some isolated cases involving secret martial arts training, but FLY!? That's just crazy!" Nils was adamant, "giraffes are not dangerous! Period."

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are NOT!"

"Are TOO!"

"WAIT!"

Both Nils and Nino looked to Mark, who had put his hand up into the air like a student in a school waiting to have his question answered, After a moment, Mark spoke in a quiet whisper.

"What is this 'giraffe' animal you both speak of?"

Nils and Nino both looked at each other.

"Well it's…uh, you know, a-"

Then they both looked it Mark.

"…Uh…something like a, you know, that thing and those things that it resembles in a close, kind of different way."

Then they looked around, trying to explain their idea.

"Sort of like it in ways that it's not like other things it can be compared to when it really shouldn't because they don't have the right wrong traits?"

Nils and Nino both looked at each other again.

"Uh, hmmm," both Nils and Nino said in unison, before looking at Mark.

"I have no idea how to describe it."

"Oh," Mark seemed disappointed, "I wonder who we can ask then?"

And then the three, together, spotted the top of castle Pherae.

**(------)**

Author's Note: For those of you who care, I'll be editing Chapter 1 for formatting and mistakes, while adding in the occasional content I figured belonged in there too.

As for the next chapter...well, we'll see what happens. And maybe even get a hint of what happened to Florina, and who was speaking during the beginning of this chapter.

...Although we really ALREADY know who it was.


End file.
